Making myself unstoppable

"The human race may be comprised of intelligent individuals
but collectively we're blundering over a cliff with our eyes wide open."
-James Hedley, Oxford

I can see it happening in everything. Things are changing - the metamorphosis is occuring - I am deep withing my coccoon and the chemicals are burning, moving and bending my soul. I am losing my control to gain the highest sort of self-control known to human existence. To gain everything one must lose all. And thus it is happening. But it's not easy, no sir, ho ho. I could try and make it funny; bearable perhaps. But I won't - because that would defeat the purpose of the whole transition. It would all be in vain if I didn't take it seriously. And so, I sit here, understanding and enjoying the pain. Just as I enjoy the pain my retainers give my teeth when I put them in my mouth - the pain symbolises change, progress, it is Right.

This is the type of situation that I can't explain to anybody. It makes sense only to myself and it only means Something to Me. Life is deep. And so is this. We have the most control when we are at our weakest states - it's not that we find any sort of significant manifestation of earth-changing power- but it is that: we understand most fully just the extent of who we are. And in doing so, when we come back from the brink of insanity, madness and self-incarceration, we are able to acclimitise to situations perfectly because we understand the machinations of ourselves. Our brain understands our brain.